Trends That Need to Die: “Crunkcore”

brokencyde

I’m going to give complete credit to Chris Thompson for bringing the term “crunkcore” to my attention. I can’t really remember what I called it before, I think it was something like “stupid fucking scene kids rapping” or some such similar nonsense.

I’m going to blame I Set My Friends on Fire for this monstrosity. Last year, right around the time I went away to my freshman year of college, Soulja Boy (Tell ‘Em? I never understood if that’s actually part of his name or what) released the shining gem of pop music that was “Crank That.”

A few months later another, I Set My Friends on Fire came out with”Crank That Cavalry Boy,” the inevitable screamo cover of Soulja Boy’s classic. And yeah, I thought it was really funny. The inner high school sophomore that got a kick out of Whistlecore and Death By Penguin in me came out. Once the laughter subsided, I resumed the rest of my life as usual, never once thinking, “Hey, I bet those kids will get a record deal some day.”

My sophomore year I became the music director at our college radio station, and sure enough, one day we got in the fucking I Set My Friends on Fire album. Yes, those kids who screamed over an instrumental version of “Crank That” were picked up by Epitaph and put out a 12 song album. My co-director/roommate Fred and I gave it a listen just to say we did, whereafter he, in typical fashion, promptly threw it into a wall and broke it into seven or eight pieces.

For some reason, other very legitimate artists decided to capitalize on this trend.

Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com has entries listed for both Irony and Self-Aware Hip-Hop References, both of which seem appropriate to mention because they tie beautifully together to make up this pseudo-genre. Crunkcore emcees are almost exclusively those white guys you see in Hot Topic with dyed or straightened hair, tight jeans, scarves even during the summer, trendy sunglasses, and some form of lip piercing. Crunkcore songs consist of said caucasian males screaming about getting drunk and having sex and other wholesome gangsta activites. Or, in the immortal words of Latarian Milton, “hoodrat stuff.”

NOTABLE OFFENDERS:

Brokencyde – Pictured above. ‘Nuff said.

Dot Dot Curve – If this kid makes more money than me I’m going to be pissed off.

Rockstar – Word to the wise, buddy. Autotune doesn’t make you sound better if you’re singing in the wrong key in the first place.

3OH!3 – Of all the acts mentioned, these guys seem to do it the most tongue-in-cheek. The others, I’m just not sure.

My other favorite part of crunkcore is that if you go to ANY of their myspaces, and I mean any of them, there is guaranteed to be at least one photo album consisting of nothing but preteen girls (and some guys, I suppose), posing in a typical Myspace angle or mirror shot with the band’s name somewhere in the frame, either written directly on themselves with pen, with a handwritten/drawn sign, or MS Painted on with some wingdings.

I mean, if you actually like this shit, more power to you. I just can’t understand why this joke has gone on for so long.

(I think I’m going to blame Kanye West for this as well. He really started the whole hip-hop-with-a-non-hip-hop image thing. Also I look for any reason to pin society’s ills on him.)

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37 responses to “Trends That Need to Die: “Crunkcore”

  1. Oh my god.
    This crunkcore shit is pathetic.
    Not a bad article anyway.
    This trend definitely has to die, it’s pathetic.
    Scene kids, “emo” kids, posers, MCR, FOB, Taking back sunday, dash board blah, and blah blah…

    All those bands people and bands should go burn and die.

  2. haha, I couldn’t agree more (Y) Whenever I go into town, there’s always a group of 10 of these boys, with pink aviator or kanye-west-style glasses on, with tsunami hair, skin-tight drainpipe jeans and pink rubber spike earrings, walking and smiling smugly like they’re God’s gift or something. Who the hell do they think they’re impressing? It’s just plain annoying.

  3. Idk how old you are, but it obviously seems like your too old to appreciate this type of music. I know most people do not call it crunkcore, I’ve never even heard that. But I do know that by saying this it is offfending millions of people who listen to those bands. I love the sound, it’s So diverse from all that other pop crap that’s just all the craze. And personally I think that the scene/ emo style is really attractive. That’s my say on this.

  4. Okay, first of all you really need to get a fucking life, who really gets on here and types a huge long article about music they hate? Thats really just a waste of time. Your not changing anybodys opinion by doing this. Its just pissing people off when you act like you know everything about this music, when clearly you dont. Its still music no matter what your opinion is on it. If you dont like it, dont listen to it and keep your thoughts to yourself. (:

  5. ALSO, Brokencyde: their picture doesnt explain their music, its showing a fashion trend, which alot of people clearly like because I dont know about you but I see kids dressing like that everywhere, so if you are going to talk about their music then talk about their music, not what they look like. And its basically a highschool trend of music. Most kids grow out of it by the time they reach college or get out of college. Dot Dot Curve: Why would it piss you off if they make more money then you? Thats the most selfish thing ive ever heard. They have talent, and if you did then you could make the same, or more amount of money they do. But writting this gay article does absolutly nothing for you. Rockstar: I dont know anything about them, so you win that one. And yes, most of these bands myspaces do have Albums consisting of pictures people have made them, which I think is original and creative, and shows that they have fans. So you need to do some more research before you go around dissing bands that have tons of fans. Have a great day.

  6. If I kept my thoughts to myself, there would be no point in having a blog. Who’s really the loser here, me for having an outlet for my opinions and sharing them with no regard for who reads it, or you for trying to “put me in my place”?

    I’ll admit I’m too old for this type of music, but when I was that age I NEVER would have jumped on such a clearly shallow trend.

  7. Brokencyde are good ( : So are Escape The Fate they’re GREAT ( :

  8. Well, BrokeNCYDE in my opinion is a very good band. And wouldn’t you feel just as offended if someone was bashing how you dress, and the bands you like? So understand that you are entitled to your own opinion, but try not to abuse that power like you have. And trashing other bands, and how I dress just is not cool at all. And this trend is not shallow at all. I am one of those Scene Kids. and the proper term for BrokeNCYDE’s music is Screamo/Crunk. and yes most bands have pictures of their FANS. And i am sure if you was cool, you might would to.

  9. Kimberly love, I’m afraid you are completely in the wrong here. First of all he is hardly abusing his power, an example of power abuse would be banning the genre if he was a politician, he’s just venting. and second and most importantly, BrokeNCYDE and all those shitbirds are terrible, the music has no substance, no skill put into making it, the fans look like tossers and they’re all self obsessed vain Shitbirds as said before. thirdly, you can’t say in all honesty that crunkcore and scene kids aren’t shallow, because crunkcore lyrics are all about ‘drinkin fuckin n all that shit’ and scene kids are named like they are because they switch to different scenes to fit in, which is real shallow. classic crunk was bad enough, this wigger crap is too far

  10. Couldnt agree more on the text. Scene is the fucking shame of alternative styles, the ONLY one that doesnt really have a core of music or whatsoever, just some kids who thought emo-chicks where hot but didnt were afraid to loose all their cool high-school friends. Srsly kill it with fire.

  11. it’s something i’ve seen before, and thanks for pointing that it’s actually seperate trend, great article, love the comments, and i agree, all this is not about music (… hmm) but fashion, and i love this look 🙂

  12. you’re an idiot. ’nuff said. if you don’t have anything nice to say then shut the fuck up. why waste your time whining about something you don’t like? die hating

  13. Im not being funny yeah, but don’t you think its kinda hypocritical that you can ‘vent’ your opinions on the web, but when someone who’s into crunkcore/screamo whatever, and dresses how they choose disagrees with you and ‘puts you in your place’ you dont like it?
    ‘Who’s really the loser here, me for having an outlet for my opinions and sharing them with no regard for who reads it, or you for trying to “put me in my place”?’
    The answer: YOU.
    Im into crunkcore, 3Oh!3, being my particular favourite, i have my piercings and tattoos and i wear what the hell i like.
    So will everybody else. You will wear what you want. And nobodys allowed to ‘vent’ about what they dont like, in particular, you?
    How about you stop writing sad little blogs on the internet, grow up, get a life and share what you think with people whi give a fuck?
    Yeah thats what i thought as well mate.
    Have a good one (Y).

  14. Ehh, mate you chat some bullshit you do. Everyone has their own style and taste in music, so stop thinking yours is better than everyone elses because it isn’t. Face it, dickhead, your the same as everyone else and lack importance in society. So fucking do one.

  15. Go on Charlieeeeee! ❤

  16. “I mean, if you actually like this shit, more power to you. I just can’t understand why this joke has gone on for so long.”

    Thank you, loyal readers, for making my email inbox brighter for almost a year now. Your preteen hatred sustains me.

  17. I think it’s wonderful how everyone has bitched and moaned about how the author is wasting his time writing this article, yet you all have taken the time to not only READ the article but COMMENT on it as well.

    Also, if you’re over 16 and still listen to crunkcore, do everyone a favor and eat a bullet.

  18. Mike Farrell is my hero. And the first amendment is a beautiful thing, as so eloquently displayed by this single article.

    For all of the crunckcore fans, that have so graciously displayed their hatred for Mike and his opinion, and may i stress the word opinion. I’m telling you that you are all right. You have the right to love the music you want, wear the clothes you want, because I do too. I love my favorite bands, I dress like a big kid and pick out my clothes all by myself each morning. However, here’s wear you can all throw a tantrum at me. As much as you used your freedom of expression to listen to music, sport certain fashions, and bash Mike Farrell; that is the exact same freedom that allowed him to simply share his feelings towards one tiny tiny tiny corner of the music world. Therefore I ask, who is the hypocrite? Part of being an individual is loving something not matter what, even if others don’t. Feeling “hurt” and offended because one person doesn’t like your music means you have a fair amount of growing up to do. And trust me, he is not the only one. I can guarantee that you all hate some of the bands that I listen to everyday, and guess what, that’s just fine. I really don’t hate you for it. If you want to live in a world of people that will only like what you like, and have the same views as you, move to Utah and vote Republican. Oh wait, your probably all under 18 and can’t vote yet. Oh well, soon enough. You’re almost there!

  19. yo it hurts my eyes then it it ravels to my brain and then it seeps into my stomach in short it hurts my head to conceive these highschoolers, wanna be cool middle schoolers who go AHHH YOUR JUST OLD POPS THIS IS THE NEW SCENE but thats what it is a new scene that will be replaced or refurbished but Christ i know are politicians took over this country with no regards for the inhabitants since thats alll we are to them but must that mirror on are young society’s interests in whats hip the 80’s are dead so drop ALL THE FUCKIN COLORS AND WEAR SOME DAMN TRIP PANTS LET YOUR BOYS BREATH no point in being sweet u walk in front of me with flippy hair skin tight jeans shutter shades and ur a male specimen of any age u run a chance of getting checked into the food courts floor and don’t expect nothing less then WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN

    an then he’ll probally reply the girls at my school think its hot how else am i supposed to get laid

    or he’ll reply fuck you juggalo your no better then me for trends in which ill reply AT LEAST I LET MY BALLS BREATH in which everyone well be starein and ill be carted away the crazy one while he and millons of other roam this beautiful planted dressed like that HES THE CRAZY ONE THERE ALL CRAZY IM JUST……(thought that one out to much didn’t i)

  20. Elizabeth McKenna.

    I really dont get it. At all.
    I mean, how are some people entitled to express their opinion, and others arent?
    I mean, someone has written this blog, and published it on the internet, and everybody in the world can see it. So obviously, people are going to disagree with it. Someone has posted their opinion on the internet, and others are responding with their opinion, contrasting or not.

    In my personal opinion, Im not a fan of crunkcore. That is my OPINION. I am, in all honesty, not entirely sure what it is.
    But also in my opinion, a grown man should not waste his time ‘venting’ or ‘blogging’ or whatever this is, and also, as an ADULT, do you not think it irresponsible, immoral, and pathetic to be arguing over the internet with CHILDEREN?

    Im 34 years old. I have two childeren. My daughter has stylised herself into an ’emo’, and my son a ‘chav’, and i personally dont like either of those cliques; but the point i am tryng to make, is people will do as they wish, you can’t stop them, so live and let live.

    Its like racism. I know that sounds a little far fetched, but think about it. If a person doesn’t like someone because of their race and decide that that race should ‘go die’, that is illegal. But it is not entirely far removed from someone deciding they dont like someone because of their trend, and that that trend should ‘go die’.

    Yes, someone has taken the time to write this, frankly annoying article or ‘blog’ and my 15 year old daughter showed me it, so i took the time to read it. But think about it, if there wasn’t an article in the first place, people would have no reason to ‘bitch and moan’.

    But alas, even my teenage daughter can see the humor that is a grown man throwing his toys out of the pram because he doesn’t like something, and arguing with childeren and minors over it. It is something that a teenager would feel passionate about, but that an adult should grow up and accept.

  21. ‘Who’s really the loser here, me for having an outlet for my opinions and sharing them with no regard for who reads it, or you for trying to “put me in my place”?’
    I agree with that Aimee kid. You should have regard for those who read it. People have feelings, and as the comment above me states, you are talking to childeren here mate, no offence or anything, but maybe that should be taken into consideration.
    Im not saying you shouldn’t have an outlet for your opinions, I just think that you should take other peoples feelings and opinions on board, and into consideration, and you should be careful what you say when it comes to kids.

  22. I Agree With ‘Elizabeth McKenna’, Why’s A Grown Man Arguing With 12 Year Olds?
    ‘Your preteen hatred sustains me’. Why? If You Said Half Of This Shit To My Teen Daughter, I’m Sorry, And I’m Not Condoning Violence But I’d Punch You In The Face. Grow Up Man, Cause Talking To Kids Like That Can Get You In A Lot Of Shit, Find Something Else To ‘Sustain’ You. I Find Getting Laid Works For Me, You Might Wanna Try It.

  23. what ever happen to cant people bitch on the web

  24. I agree with the blogger here. Crunkcore is utter shit. I just think it’s funny how the only crowd it really attracts is girls ages 14-17 who are like OMG YEA DRINKING IS COOL I’LL FUCK ANYONE I SEE PARTY YEAAAAA. Or homo scene dudes. I used to do the emo thing back when it was like 2004 when it was the shit. But I did one thing. I grew up. I got a real music taste. Now I’m just a prog metal kid (ie Scale the Summit, Between the Buried and Me, Dream Theater, etc.). The deal is these kids won’t stay in this forever. They’ll grow up and look back and be like “Why the fuck did I do that?” If they don’t then their music taste was destined to suck. Honestly people this is a huge marketing scheme. They know that these kids will eat up any “original” music that has to do with trying to be cool. It’s sick really. You line these peoples pockets by buying into their shitty music. And when I mean shitty I mean THIS SHIT HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES.

  25. I agree with the blogger, crunk core doesn’t make sense to me. I’m 19 years old & a massive fan of punk rock so don’t think I’m not open to alternate genres because I am.

    But come on, how can a band (brokencyde) do a cover of Akon’s Sexy Bitch? I thought the original was bad enough.

    Do you crunkrockers even know the meaning of sexual discrimination? Why the fuck (excuse the french) would you listen to a song that demeans women and TRY to justify this neo-RNB-gone-wrong-trend? (not that RNB was ever right- well, barely ever).

  26. i dont know. just my opinion since everyones showing theres but brokencydes my favorite group. i wouldnt necessarily style them as a band since they dont play instruments necessarily. i guess if you count phat j’s snyths but thats besides the point. i can understand people not liking crunkcore music. but why so much hate? yea a lot of scene kids dress up neon colors and get a crap ton of piercings and all look alike. who cares? let people be who they like. everyone always has a genre to bash on. before screamo became so accepted i remember id hear people going “wow screamos for emo fags, scream scream about cutting, losers” and now its being so highly praised and popular. i like all types of music. and while brokencyde and dot dot curve(: dont have lyrics with depth and meaning, i dont care in the least. its party music. jump wiggle and dance, its meant to make you laugh. i mean come on “you make my pp hard” makes me giggle a little. but about the demeaning women, oh come on rap music and hiphop still is going on high on that lyrically speaking, especially in music videos. but regardless i dont find it to be demeaning. wow they never went ALL WOMEN ARE BITCHES AND HOES. or never said they actually treat them that way. but yeah just my opinion, ima huge fan but im not gonna flame other people for their opinions. even the person who wrote this article.

  27. Nigga you trippin on dis. Crunkcore lives forever niggas!!!

  28. If you don’t like crunkcore don’t lison to it. as simple as that. My and my friends used to hate it(nnow we love it) but we just ignored it & never thought bout it. Crunkcore IS music, & tons of people like it, so leave it alown

  29. George, American

    Mike,

    All of the teenagers who have gotten butt-sore over your blog really need to get over themselves and grow the fuck up already. The comments they have posted are rife with childish whining and an unwillingness to accept criticism for their generation’s utter lack of all creativity; An attitude that results from the collective unwillingness of their parents to tell them that they are wrong lest they risk “hurting their feelings” and driving their ungrateful brats to melodramatic threats of suicide that could easily be avoided by an old fashioned ass kicking and revocation of media privileges.

    Of course, denying these little shits their “right” to electronically masturbate their egos on Myspace for any length of time will more than likely be met with allegations of “child abuse” from the inept and politically correct public education system that is overburdened with trying to get them to give a shit about anything aside from themselves let alone educating them enough to realize why “OMFG WTF HOW R U” is contributing to the decline of society.

    In conclusion, the day may come when “crunkcore” is properly understood as a timely reflection of the miserable state of the cultural milieu that produced it. The day may never come when it is seen as enjoyable by anyone born after the year 1992.

  30. Oh George… Grow up? No. I think you need to grow up. You are the one whining. You just cant appreciate this kind of music. Our generation CAN accept critacism, its just that we always have something to say after your “critacism”. Your generation just gets mad when we say something after you “talk” to us. You get mad because you know you cant win in an argument. You wont hurt our feelings. We really dont care what you think. We live our lives the way we want. I would love to see you TRY and give someone of our generation an “ass kicking”. We DONT only give a “shit” about about oursleves we care about alot of people. Our family, our freinds, and people that DONT put down all teens. Just because you cant txt doesnt mean you should get mad at us. Crunkcore is a very reflective and fun type of music. Not all of it is just jumping around and doing crazy things. Just because a person listens to a certian type of music deosnt mean they are childish or self-centered. I listen to crunkcore and many other types of music, but im not childish or self-centered. Unlike you who is very childish, saying thigs like “these little shits”. Thats extremely childish. Im a teen and im much more mature than you. I dont go around saying thigs like that. its extremely rude and immature. So dont call our generation childish until you are able to truely able to say you are more mature than us. Using “big” words doesnt make you more mature than us. Also i think you are the one who is self-centered, trying to make it sound like you and your generation is better than us. So in conclusion, you should look at yourself before you judge others.

  31. All these comments have shown me, will, is that your generation is entirely unable to accept “critacism.” Ask your teacher to put that on your spelling list for next week.

  32. Ummmm… No. My generation can accept “critacism”. I read what you wrote. I dont agree with it. At all. But you are entitled to your opinion. So am I, my opinion on this subject is well, your wrong about alot of things. This music isnt stupid nor is the clothing that we wear. We wear and listin to the music and clothing we want. Wich im sure you do the same. Im positive if someone were to “critisize” what you listin to or the clothes you wear, you would voice your opinion, as i have done here. Also the “ask your teacher to put that on your spelling list” was imature. What was the point of that? I know how to spell and I also know what the word means. Its funny that you think my generation cannot accept “critacism”. When MY generation critasizes what you wrote and all you can do is try and make us look like stupid teens because of what we wrote. I think its your generation or maybe its just you that cannot accept critacism. Its like you get mad at us for critazising you, and that we are younger than you and we should agree with you and realize that we are stupid and should change the way we live our life. Wich im not going to do. Thats all i have to say right now, but im enjoying this conversation. So please reply back.

  33. Milanta guys calm the hootle down this is a blog not a political debate

  34. *criticism

    because it couldn’t be more obvious than that.

  35. Sorry to tell you this, but I’m still listening to them. It distracts me from cuntsickles like you.

  36. Lololol this is ridiculous XD

  37. Just let people do what they want. Jeez. I mean c’mon, is it necessary to make blogs criticizing what we don’t like? No. I hate One Direction but you don’t see me creating hate pages for them and their followers. I don’t call the music crap either.

    So let’s all just act our age now, okay 🙂

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