It’s not often that I use the word “laughably bad” in a literal context, but when I first heard “Missing Cleveland” off of Scott Weiland’s questionably titled “Happy” in Galoshes (his quotation marks, not mine), I laughed. Hard. This song is fucking abysmal; it’s so god awful that I actually miss Velvet Revolver. From Weiland’s deadpan, almost monotonous vocal delivery to the awkward guitar harmonies to the downright stupid lyrics, there’s a lot to hate here. I’ll give you a few excerpts:
“There was you and there was me
Like the perfect family
I thought we’d always live forever
So one and one and one make three
And it changed the recipe
But I forgot it truly toxic”
Nope, no stretching for rhymes here.
“You’re holding on but letting go
I’m missing Cleveland and the snow
And lonely bars where everybody knows
The truth and lets it be”
Holding on and letting go? Maybe if these people didn’t let the truth be they wouldn’t spend time in lonely bars in Cleveland. Just a thought.
At least Velvet Revolver had Slash. Rather than include the song’s actual music video, above I’ve put a live TV version in which nobody plays in tune with each other. Merry Christmas!