You’re Not Missing Much: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Benjamin Button

God, if only somebody else but me had come up with this idea, I would have saved myself a lot of trouble. How often have you gone to see a really long movie, only to find yourself yearning for a bathroom only thirty minutes in? Need a refill on that popcorn? I’ll let you know when there’s a lull in the action so you can sneak out for five or so minutes. Who knows, maybe you’ll enjoy the film more after; with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, I can’t guarantee that.

RUNNING TIME:

A bowel-clenching two hours and forty-eight minutes.

WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY:

If you’re not as dense as a fucking rock you’ll probably guess that, at some point during the film, the two leads finally do get together. At this point, you’ve got a good twenty to thirty minutes of lovey-dovey bullshit as the world’s most predictable love story (no pun intended) catches up with itself. Keep your bathroom break short and you won’t miss anything worthwhile or significant.

The rest of the movie? Well, as Will Sheff of Okkervil River best put it,

“It’s just a life story, so there’s no climax.”

I can’t think of a better way to describe The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. The beginning is good, the end is good, the middle meanders around for an hour too long. Skip it and see Gran Torino or Milk instead.

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One response to “You’re Not Missing Much: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

  1. it was a little weird to see an old version of Brad Pitt’s face pasted onto a kid’s body, but i guess that’s why they call it a “curious case”

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